Back
20 March 2026

Relationship Scams

Cover image for inside a scam series.

We’ve launched a series called Inside a Scam to help Kiwis better understand investment scams.

The series unpacks how different scams work, how to recognise the warning signs, how to protect yourself, what to do if you’ve been scammed, and how to support a victim.

Our first video focuses on relationship scams.

Learn how relationship scams work, how to spot the warning signs, and what to do if it happens to you. 

 

What is a relationship scam? 

When someone pretends to be a friend or romantic partner online to access your money or personal information, it's known as a relationship scam.

Scammers often use fake photos, fake identities and carefully crafted stories to target people and build what feels like a genuine connection over time – sometimes over years. They may appear caring, supportive and trustworthy.  
 
Once that trust is established, they will gradually start talking about investments opportunities and encourage you to invest.

Anyone can be targeted. Many people don’t recognise the scam at first because the emotional connection feels real. Knowing the warning signs can help protect you and those you care about.  

 

How to spot a relationship scam?

Red Flags

🚩Unexpected contact

You receive a message or friend request from a profile you don’t recognise or were not expecting.

🚩Moving the conversation off‑platform

They ask to chat on messaging platforms like WhatsApp or Telegram to avoid detection.

🚩Suspicious profile

Their profile has little information, or details that don’t match what they tell you.

🚩Secrecy

They ask you to keep the relationship a secret, making it harder for others to help you spot the warning signs.

🚩Investment talk

They talk about their investment success and encourage you to try it too. They may introduce you to an investment platform, or a trading expert who will help you trade. Often, the ‘trading expert’ and your online friend are the same person.

🚩Being overly helpful

They offer to set up trading accounts or send money to help you start trading, to make it seem safe and easy.

🚩No face-to-face

They avoid video calls or in‑person meetings. If they do call, it’s usually brief or low-quality.

 

How to protect yourself

✅Take your time

Be cautious when connecting with new people online.  Ask questions and pay attention to anything that doesn’t add up.

✅Be aware of impersonations

If someone claims to be a friend or family member, contact them through another method to check it’s really them.

✅Talk to someone you trust

Others may notice warning signs you’ve missed.

✅Don’t pay

If you’re asked to invest, send money or use cryptocurrency, step back and don’t pay.

✅Listen to your bank or payment provider

If your bank or payment provider asks questions about a payment, take this seriously. Being asked by your online friend to change the “purpose of payment” or provide misleading information is a warning sign of a scam. 

✅Protect your personal information

Never share financial or personal details with someone you’ve only met online. Be careful about what you post or share – scammers will use your online history against you and will use your posts to build trust and cause harm.

✅Block and disconnect

If you suspect a relationship scam, stop all communication and block the person.

 

If you think you’ve been scammed

Scams can happen to anyone. Acting quickly can help reduce further harm.  

  • Contact your bank or payment provider immediately to report the scam and request a transaction reversal.
  • Contact IDCARE for support and guidance if personal details were shared (0800 121 068 or online at www.idcare.org)
  • Report investment scams to the FMA.
  • Report fraudulent accounts to platforms used by the scammer.
  • Talk to someone you trust or contact Victim Support (0800 842 846). 

Helping a Friend or Family Member

Approach the conversation gently. Victims often don’t realise what’s happening because scammers work hard to build trust and isolate them. 
Try to:

  • Show concern, not blame
  • Review the warning signs together
  • Reassure them it can happen to anyone
  • Offer practical help with the steps above